“People who were raised on Love see things differently than those that were raised on survival”- Samantha Jo.  When I saw this phrase I had an epiphany and I knew right then that this would be my next topic on The Garden.

I’ll tell you why Samantha’s observation is true, I have realised that we see the world through our eyes. You see when you start to think about what gives our eyes or rather the eye the ability to see you will appreciate this statement better. According to biology the lens focuses light through the vitreous humid, a clear gel-like substance that fills the back of the eye and supports the retina. The retina receives the image that the cornea focuses through the eye’s internal lens and transforms this image into electrical impulses that are carried by the optic nerve to the brain.  This explains fully how we get to see as human beings. Now, taking this into consideration what if I put it to you that the same process applies to our perception towards life. That the reason you see life a certain way is because your “vitreous humid” which is what you have been fed or feeding yourself, how you were raised and your experiences growing up which collectively have formed a gel-like substance that fills the back of your eye and supports the retina. (Remember the retina receives the image which eventually transforms into electric impulses that are carried into our brain by the optic nerve).

It all starts with the vitreous humid, that substance at the back of our eye. What supports your retina is your upbringing, your experiences, your life lessons. Those are what transforms into images-these images then create and condition your perception- they become a mental picture and they convict you (creating electric impulses) the electric impulses are your convictions your school of thought, your principles, which are now carried into your brain via your optic nerve.

Now, what you project on a daily basis through the choices you make, your decisions, your viewer towards life is influenced by your brain. Your brain has gone through the entire process which began from the back of your eye- your foundation of sight which influenced your way of seeing the world the way you do. Hence you see the world through “your” eyes!

How you were raised is the most fundamental lens that focuses light through your vitreous humid. That is where it all starts building the gel-like substance at the back of your eye. That is what supports your retina and for you to change how you see things, you need to first change what you see. You can only change what you see if you start changing that substance stored at the back of your eye because that is what has been transported to your brain via your optic nerve. When you start thinking about the process, you then begin to understand why it Is rather difficult for most of us to change the way we see things, to alter our perception of life because indeed that will require hard work on our part. Imagine having to undo and unlearn all your principles and school of thought you were raised on, the only things you knew for a very long time, the only exposure you have ever experienced since birth. This is enough to make anyone feel vulnerable and it certainly explains why a lot of people reject new things because not only does it challenge them but it also makes them question the authenticity of their background and the quality of what they had been fed all along.  No one wants to wake up one day and come to the realisation that they had been walking on the wrong side of the pavement all along. Believe you me when I tell you that for this reason, many have resorted to rather holding on to their beliefs, no matter how detrimental.

Each day we walk about the earth filled with people who do not see the world the same as us because we were not raised the same, we grew up on different things. Some grew up on love and some on survival and these two will not see the world the same. However, this does not make it impossible to coexist, we can, it will just require more effort. For instance, I grew up on love and I can tell you from experience that it is so exhausting trying to love someone who only knows survival. Like dude/ girl I’m trying to show you some love why you’re tripping🤷🏽‍♀️  but then again if you put yourself in their shoes, instead of being frustrated you understand where they’re coming from.  A friend of mine Nonceba says she too grew up on love and she says she shares my sentiments more over what she struggled with is the manipulation that often comes with a survivalist and I will add to that also the frustration of them disconnecting with emotions. I cannot tell you how many times my affection would be confused for being “too emotional” almost as if it’s a forbidden thing to show emotions or even feel them. The other major thing is the permanent hustle mode. You can save yourself from these and many others if from the on set, try to figure out who you are dealing with. You should ask yourself whether you are dealing with a survivalist or a lovist? This will then help you manage your expectations and most importantly protect you from unnecessary ruthlessness because some people can be quite ruthless in the name of surviving.

Remember this the next time you meet someone be it for business, or any other relationship: We do not all come from the same background stories so let’s learn to live in tolerance otherwise just stick to your own and stop frustrating people who are genuinely just trying to relate with you. Also the next time you are tempted to judge or table an argument with someone remember that we see the world through our eyes.

By Lerato Charlotte Letsoso| Email: leratokayise@gmail.com