“Baby are you coming?” Is perhaps one of the most vital questions you can ask during a sex session.  For some it does not even occur to them to even ask because they either do not care or they are stuck in the belief that sex is for the pleasure of just one person.

For many years, couples have been having a bedroom power struggle in that for some it would seem they worked hard to please their women but do not get the favour returned while some work hard to please their men without the same effort being applied to them. Quite an imbalance won’t you say? Imagine always being the giver but never the receiver? That sounds unfair already for me. Talking about giver and receiver, I came across a tweet the other day and this individual was asking who enjoys sex the most “the receiver or the giver?” and I cringed. I was tempted to start lecturing on sex and all but I took a breath and scrolled past.

I cannot for the life of me believe that at this day and age people actually still have that receiver-giver mentality when it comes to sex. I mean you would think sex styles like the six-nine brought a revolution and evolved our bedrooms but seemingly not. Now, of course there will be times when either of the partners will set out to lay it down for their loved one but unless that is the case, the pleasure of sex needs to be reciprocal always. “Do me, I do you” that should be the mission not this unfair notion of one party “doing” while the other flatly just lays there to “receive” in pleasure until they cum. Some partners are so selfish they would cum without even checking if their partner was okay or satisfied, it’s all about them and their needs.

There is a reason why nature has given both men and women a sexual desire. If only one of the sexes was meant to enjoy the deed, then it would only make sense to endow only the chosen counterpart won’t you say? But no both men and women have sexual urges and a need to cum so why not cum together then? Yes, you can absolutely cum together in fact it is even more fun when you do so “Baby are you cuming?” “Yes I feel it coming babe” “Okay I’m cuming” and then both of you just explode with orgasmic pleasure in unison, what a beautiful duet!

To achieve this as a couple you will need to care about each other’s sexual needs. You will also have to discover each other’s hot spots and learn to apply yourselves to each other’s satisfaction. After a few sessions you will establish your own rhythm as a couple and this will assist you with knowing how to delay orgasm and also how to inspire it and ultimately when to conduct the unison orgasmic ensemble. Be patient while you do this because for some it could take longer than others, remember you have your sexual expectations as individuals even before you come together so the more different the fantasies, the more work it will require to get to a common rhythm. No matter how complex, it is not impossible all you need is an interest to please yourself, and an interest to please your partner. The rest takes care of itself as you dig into each other’s bodies to figure out the different chords that will create a great rhythm for both of you.

So, next time you’re tempted to moan “I’m coming” remember to switch to “Let’s cum together”  and watch how your bond grows even deeper and your atmosphere at home sweeter. For those of you who have no idea where to start here’s a great place to start. Get a bed or a matt, let the man lay on his back and let the women sit on his face while reaching out to his legs with her head. Both partners will then simultaneously please each other orally by mouthing and licking and sucking until they’re ready to switch it up and penetrate with either the woman still on top or the man. You can swap roles and round off with a lovely turn around from the lady with the man on her back. It really is up to you and your partner’s preference as long as you carry each other along and no one’s left behind wondering “Did you cum?”

By Lerato Charlotte Letsoso| Email: leratokayise@gmail.com