“I always meet nice guys but I don’t love them”, “I know exercise is good for me but I hate it”, “I know smoking is bad for me but I can’t stop”, “I know too much sugar is not good but I love it” sounds familiar? The list is endless right? Even Paul says in the book of Romans “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” A clear indication that indeed loving the things that are good for us is every man’s struggle. You’re not alone.

I have a 19-year-old niece who holds me accountable for the many words I speak, especially those I use as advice to her. Just recently, we spoke about learning to love the things that are good for us, the things that love us and this is one area I have been struggling with. However, with consistency I’ve managed to make so much progress. I started last year this time by resigning from a toxic work environment which was beginning to torment my health. It then flowed into other areas of my life such as separating myself from toxic family members and other relationships in general. One of the most important things to do was to also admit my toxicity and figure out ways to deal with it. Which eventually led to my decision of abstaining from sex, alcohol, sugar and certain foods amongst other things. So far I’ve seen the manifestation of my inner work and I’m still at it, I’m a work in progress.

Self care is a journey and it’s not an easy one to start but once you get a hang of it like most habits, it actually is so much rewarding. Self care is a form of self respect, it enables us to love ourselves and to make choices that are beneficial for our overall wellness. Once you grasp this it will be extremely difficult to tolerate spaces that don’t want you. You will not want to force connections be it in career, private life etc. You will find it so much easier to walk out of situations that make you feel as if you are forcing yourself or rather imposing yourself in spaces that do not welcome you. You suddenly find yourself turning down certain offers because they’re not aligned to your purpose or objective. You pass those attractive men/women because you realise you’ve worked too hard on yourself to just give it up because you’re horny. You become more guarded, grounded and sober.  And the most beautiful of all, you learn to love the things/people that are good for you.

Like many habits, getting to a point where you finally enjoy and love the things that are good for you is not an event, it’s a process. You need to submit to the journey and take it one day at a time. In the beginning you will find it rough but once you get the hang of it, it’s smooth sailing. You’ll find yourself at a restaurant making requests to replace your sugar with honey without having to debate with your mind about it. You’ll find your body craving for some stretching and your soul craving for some meditation. You’ll find yourself doing what you love as a career and most definitely get to a point where you attract good vibes and relationships and learn to welcome them because you know you deserve them. You then get to a level of gratitude where you appreciate your state of wellness and honour it so much that you guard it jealously.

I wish us all this level of self care and so much more. Your life can turn around for good or for the better, it starts with you. Save yourself by doing the inner work. Go for it! Embark on that self care journey.

By Lerato Charlotte Letsoso| Email: leratokayise@gmail.com