I couldn’t go to work that day. I used my anniversary as an excuse to seek permission from the office. My boss thought I was having a wonderful time. Little did he know I was drowning in sorrow.
I called a taxi driver to pick Kayla to school and I locked myself inside.
Depressed. Embittered. Angry. Afraid. Disappointed.
I felt a lot of things I can’t use words to describe.
I picked up our wedding album and my heart ripped apart as I went through our photos.
“Oh God if you knew my life will be this miserable with Kwame why did you allow me to marry him?
When again will I be this happy in my life?
If he doesn’t love me anymore, then he should just divorce me.
Why is he making me to suffer like this?”
Then I got to where we were exchanging vows.
I remembered it too well….with sadness instead of fond memories…
I, Kwame Ahenkorah, take you, Maame Asantewaa Appiah, to be my lawfully wedded wife,
To have and to hold, from this day forward,
For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
“Is this our worse?” I asked as if there was someone with me in the room.
I felt God had disappointed me.
I didn’t live a wayward life like others. I married a virgin. I married because of love. And was that how he was paying me back for my chastity? Was that how he was paying me back for my faithfulness to him?
I went over the lines again and again, the more I did, the more broken I became.
I regretted marrying Kwame.
Yes that day I regretted marrying Kwame.
I regretted spending four years of my life with him. How could he say such a sacred vow to me and cheat on me? How could he go back on his words?
It would have been better if I married someone I felt indifferent about. In that case, I wouldn’t have been so affected. But I married for love.
Love!!! That word sounded strange to my ears from that moment on.
“So was it going to be only death that could separate us? Oh my God I am dead”
I saw my case as hopeless. I couldn’t imagine going through that misery all my life, more so being a young woman.
There was no way I could survive it.
Then, I understood what moved some women to slowly poison their husbands to death, go mad and be abandoned in a psychiatric hospital, or become bitter towards men.
If you have never been there, I tell you, you can’t appreciate it well.
As expected, Kwame called late in the afternoon to say that he cannot be home early enough for us to celebrate our anniversary because there was a contract he had to urgently work on for a client.
He really sounded apologetic and asked that we postpone the celebration to the weekend and I said ok.
If only he knew that I knew why he wasn’t coming home….
I decided not to confront him yet.
I needed to get enough evidence before I could do so, so that he cannot deny it. Kwame was a smart guy and he could easily outsmart me so I took no chances.
I did my wifely duties as before, nothing changed. I was just waiting for the finest moment to make my case.
It took me close to two months before I had a clue of who She was.
Kwame woke up one morning with a terrible cold. He decided to stay at home that day and not go to work.
By the time I got home in the evening, he had come to sleep in the hall.
While I was changing my clothes in the bedroom, I heard his phone ring.
Guess who it was?
She!!!!
I quickly memorised the number and saved it unto my phone.
As expected, she called more than once so I took the phone and went to give it to Kwame in the hall.
When he saw it was She, he ignored picking the call.
Finally I had a clue to find who my husband’s side chick was.
Yes I wanted to know who she was. Whether she was tall, slim, fair, short, dark, all that she had that I didn’t have that made Kwame fall for her.
I later checked out the number on whatsapp but the only profile picture I got was a wallpaper. I was disappointed, it looked as if it were a dead end, but I didn’t give up just yet.
I monitored her presence on whatsapp and realised that anytime Kwame was online she was online too.
From the time I got to know of Kwame’s infidelity, thoughts of divorce started crossing my mind.
Divorce was never in my vocabulary.
After all I read somewhere in the Bible that you could divorce on grounds of adultery.
What hadn’t I done for the sake of our marriage?
I poured out my life into the marriage and if Kwame wanted to be with someone else, why did I need to continue suffering while he was having fun?
I had had enough.
I was surprised he didn’t even notice that I was always morose when he got home. How could he? He got home walking on cloud nine.
And it made my heart bleed the more.
No woman likes the thought that another woman is making her man happy. It keeps her wondering what her rival is doing to score more points. And any woman who gets to that point may even do the unthinkable just to keep her man, especially if she doesn’t want to let go.
In my case, I loved Kwame, but I didn’t want to do anything crazy, I didn’t want the rest of my life messed up. I just wanted to know who She was so that I could have peace of mind.
One morning, I left home before Kwame did. He was finishing up in the bedroom. When I got outside, I realized I had left my car key on the dinning table so I went back inside.
Just when I entered, I heard Kwame laughing, presumably on the phone. I tiptoed so I could eavesdrop on the conversation.
“You are so crazy that’s why I can’t have enough of you…”
“Let’s meet tonight at the Gates.” He said.
I felt like going inside there and then to confront him but I held myself back.
I slowly went back to the door and banged it in a way to make Kwame think I was just coming in. He came out of the bedroom with a silly look on his face, and he asked “why you had not left all this while? Where were you?”
I told him I returned inside because I couldn’t find my car keys.
I didn’t know where the Gates was so I contacted one of my friends who showed me the location. It was a hotel. I got there before 5 pm and sat at the reception area. I wanted to get there before Kwame walked in with She.
As I sat there, my heart was pounding very fast. I dreaded what was going to unfold before my eyes. I was scared of how I was going to react eventhough I had rehearsed in my head severally how I was going to manage it.
At exactly 6 pm they walked in. His arms were wrapped about her waist….
And who was this She?
Kwame’s secretary Doris!!!!!
No one but his secretary?
Didn’t he have any shame?
I then understood the real reason for the weekly travels in the name of working on a project, little did I know he was working on the Doris project.
I wished the earth will open up and swallow them.
I wished I could strangle the two of them.
I wished I could confront Doris and tell her she is a husband snatcher.
I wished….
How could Kwame be so mean?
Was this the same Kwame who said he didn’t like public display of affection?
It looked like they were regular customers from the way they were received. Just when their key was handed to them I got up and followed them, as if I was going to use the lift too.
My intention was not to create a scene; it was to let them know they had been found out, simple. I am a lady, and I will never embarrass myself because of a man, never!
“Kwame!!!” I called from behind them.
He stopped dead in his tracks.
When he turned around, he looked like he had seen a ghost. He quickly took his hands off her waist and Doris, her head was bowed down in shame.
I surprisingly kept my cool, which drew him crazy.
I said to him…. “So Kwame you left me for her? Doris is the reason why you have changed towards me? Thank you.”
I turned to leave…
“Asantewaa, I can explain, please it’s not what you think”
I faced him again.
Smiling through my tears, I said to him, “Kwame, do you take me for a fool? I respect you, and myself, that’s why I don’t want to create a scene here. Had it not been for that, I would have disgraced the two of you here. …
“Asantewaa please”
I didn’t mind him, and I shifted my focus to Doris and said “Doris, thank you”.
I started to walk away…. Kwame followed me.
I could hear Doris calling him.
I didn’t look back.
I drove straight to my sister’s house because I couldn’t imagine seeing Kwame’s face at home.
I cried like a baby behind the wheels.
It was just God, because I almost got into an accident.
It was difficult to accept that harsh reality.
My sister couldn’t stand seeing me broken like that. I couldn’t even tell her why I had come to her house, neither did she ask me.
She sat by me as I wailed as if someone were dead.
Yes, my husband was gone!!!
“If the foundations are destroyed, What can the righteous do?”
Psalm 11:3 (NASB)
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