“Well you certainly have a keen sense of self-worth” is what he said during one of our rare but intriguing chats via WhatsApp. I have heard that a few times but he had put it in a very polite manner-not that it surprises me- he does come across as a gentle man. It was this line that inspired my article for this week on The Garden-Love Thyself. I have written on this subject before but we could never stop preaching self- love, affirmation is needed every now and again don’t you think? Self-love because I feel for anyone to have a keen sense of self -worth, you need first get to love you right.
I have been on a conscious self- love journey since 2016 now and I am happy that I have reached a level where I do not have to announce it but rather it is perceived by those who engage with me. It has always been a goal that one day I get to the point where I am in the habit of loving myself which includes making the good choices and decisions for myself right from what I eat, who I eat and where. Today I urge you to go for it, make a decision to love yourself and see how everyone else learns how to treat you. As you go about your life, someone is watching and learning from you. Learning how to treat you, learning how to love you. If you always put yourself last in all of your relationships, why be surprised when the other person never puts you first.
When we talk of self-love we’re not talking of being selfish. We are saying appreciate yourself, accept yourself, believe in yourself, and value yourself. You can only give others the best of what you have, therefore in order to be the best to others you need to be the best to yourself. Often times our behaviour in public or with others is a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. If within us we are conflicted, it is difficult to maintain healthy relationships. If we are not confident enough, we’ll become insecure and every comment or act from others becomes an attack. We become too aware of other people’s shortcomings trying to make up for our own. When we are unhappy, we subconsciously sabotage the happiness of others because our misery seeks company and ultimately because we naturally project ourselves onto others. When we are dissatisfied or feel like we have failed to accomplish our goals, we become easily irritated or intimidated by those who live positively and are busy living their dreams. And so it continues….as we destroy our relationships, because believe you me no one enjoys to hang around a destructive person.
When you receive a compliment, be able to receive it without putting yourself down. Why is it so difficult to be polite to yourself? Why is it such a difficult task to just say “thank you” with a smile, or “thank you I feel good”. Why is it easier to cheer another team except for you? You keep giving your great ideas for others to run with. Every time you are in a great relationship you do something to mess it up, because deep down inside you do not believe that you are worthy. When you are about to get a break in your career you must do something to mess it up, because deep down inside you do not believe you deserve it. Why not you? Believe me when I tell you that it is okay to be happy! It is okay to be successful! It is okay to be beautiful! And oh it’s so okay to have a “keen sense of self-worth” Stop putting yourself down, it is not amusing.
Perhaps you have heard negative reports too long from others so much so that you now believe their reviews of you. Maybe you are so afraid of people’s opinion of you that you want to beat them at it by being the first one to be mean to yourself. Whichever reason you may have, it is not good enough. Start doing a mental cleansing right now of every word that negates your value. Begin to befriend yourself, start falling in love with yourself.
One famous quote says “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light and not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are we not to be? Your playing small doesn’t serve the world”.
Love Thyself!
By Lerato Charlotte Letsoso/GhOne TV | Email: leratokayise@gmail.com