Are people born confident? That is the question that was posed to me last week when I was a guest in a private online class. This group had invited me over for a Q&A, which would inspire this week’s article for The Garden.
Confidence is a feeling of trust and firm belief in yourself. I like how Merriam-Webster defines it as a consciousness of one’s powers. Often people mistake confidence with loudness or arrogance and I want to put it to you today that confidence has absolutely nothing to do with the tone or volume of your speaking voice but rather it is an inherent quality, a characteristic of our personality.
We can be born confident but not all of us are born with confidence, some would need to learn to be confident along the way. Good for you if you are one of those who are naturally confident, however if you are the type who needs to work on your levels of confidence fret not because you could actually develop your levels of confidence and I will later share with you how.
Why do you need confidence as an attribute? We require confidence in a few areas of our lives, personally, professionally and socially. For me, confidence has been a really great enabler in my line of career, in that I need it most in public speaking, presentations and most certainly when I am conducting an interview during a news bulletin amongst many other things. If you are a model, for instance, you would definitely need your confidence in good form in order to walk the runway and same goes for the performer on stage during a live concert. Most importantly we all need a level of confidence enough to at least make us believe in ourselves, in our abilities, capabilities and to also believe that we are enough.
Confidence can be lost and confidence can be acquired. We can lose confidence through our circumstances that speak to us especially while growing up. The type of issues that tell us “you are stuck here” “this is all you’ll ever be” “how dare you dream anywhere further than this” “It is impossible” etc. Confidence can be lost due to the people we associate with, exposing ourselves to negativity, ridicule and abuse. Most predominantly, confidence is mainly lost because of disappointment. On the other hand, confidence can be developed for as long as you are ready to stretch yourself-familiarity makes us comfortable- and so we need to be ready to be uncomfortable in order to transition from our current state to our desired state. This we can do firstly by working on our fears and insecurities. We can develop confidence through practice- develop a relationship with yourself, be kind to yourself, expose yourself to confident energy (people/spaces). Up your skills, equip yourself with knowledge -information is a great confidence booster. Image- as in the manner in which you package yourself also works as a confidence boost for most people.
It’s still early in the year, and so this would be a good time to keep your confidence in check and just see how much more you can actually get done with a healthy dose of confidence. If you were born confident, lucky you all you need to do is to protect your confidence and ensure that it is never lost. If you happen to lack confidence, do not despair put into practice what I have shared above and in good time you are sure to have developed a level of confidence. Now, for a great start, why not affirm yourself with these words out loud: I am (your name), I am valid, I can & I will!
By Lerato Charlotte Letsoso | Email: leratokayise@gmail.com
