The Garden: When it hurts to hope

I remember when it hurt to hope.  There was a time in my life where no hope was better than false hope because it hurt to hope.  This was three years ago, it feels like a lifetime ago -Thuso Mbedu. I was scrolling through my Timeline as usual when I stumbled upon this post from South African Actor Thuso Mbedu.  What made this resonate with me is that I could relate to what she meant by hope hurting. What I also found profound was that she was making reference to a time when her life three years before what would be a major breakthrough for her now that she has landed an International film role in the United States of America as a lead character, which is the first in the history of South Africa if not Africa. I felt her words, it was an honest and intense post and it spoke to me to say even if it hurts right now to hope, there is a hope for you to heal from the hurt. My goodness the irony in this. It will get better, it may take time but you will be okay and when that time comes, this would feel like a lifetime ago. Isn’t it ironic how a hurting hope can in this case still birth us hope?

I want to speak to someone right now who is currently going through a place where it hurts to hope, where no hope is better than false hope. I want to speak to the person who is in a tight corner and feels suffocated by circumstances beyond their control. I want to speak to someone who feels like they have reached a dead end and if that someone or person is you, I want you to know that everything is going to be okay. You are going to hope again and when that time comes, today will feel like a lifetime ago. You may feel defeated or perhaps useless. You may be questioning your existence, your worth and condemning your situation. You could be thinking maybe something is wrong with you in particular since well, when you look around others seem to be moving along just fine. Everyone is moving except you, everyone is achieving astonishing results except you. What happened to you? What did you do wrong? Is it that you’ve run out of luck? And in worst case  scenarios you could even be questioning God’s love and wonder if you’re not one of His favourites. At this place it is hard to be positive. You want to fight but you have not much strength remaining within because you have been fighting consistently for a while now and you do not seem to be winning. You are tired!

It is okay to feel tired, it is okay to feel hurt, it is okay to question yourself about your purpose here on earth and it certainly is okay to feel stuck.  Sometimes we need to come to a place of wilderness in our lives to compel us to ask the necessary questions concerning ourselves. Such times often break us but not to destroy us but recreate us and mould us into our better selves.  Sometimes the universe makes us uncomfortable in order for us to move. The beauty of seasons is that they do change, you will not endure winter for too long, surely summer will soon come and the sun will shine again. Whatever you are facing right now must submit to the universe, nothing on earth is above the principles of the universe , surely it cannot last forever it must change because there is a time for everything.

Fight out of that corner you’re in, do not give up. Fighting does not always involve weapons of mass destruction, sometimes fighting could be exactly what you are doing now which is making sure you just make it through this day. If you can just survive and if that’s all you can achieve in a day, it is okay. You are still breathing  you are alive and for as long as you are alive hope has a better chance of meeting you than if you were dead. Be comforted, cheer up and cling on to your sanity like your life depends on it. You may have run out of water now, but remember there was a time when you had some water and you were full of life and you dreamed and had so much hope. During this season you had energy so you worked so hard, you got so much done. You wrote word boards, created vision charts, you spoke things into your future, you sowed seeds of greatness and success and you watered them with your efforts.  Because you had some water, you made moves, built connections, you helped somebody. The fact that you’re now in a dry place does by no means cancel out your seeds, no!  Those seeds are still speaking for you, they are working for you. You may not see it now but something is forming, growing just for you, it is all part if your harvest.

Most plants look like death in winter but the roots beneath are still strong and working waiting for the appointed time, the spring and the summer and see how they spring forth beautiful in their glory. They were never dead , it was just not their season to bloom. You will bloom, you are going to spring in that corner and spring forth into your field of abundance. Every dry leaf will be restored and every bitter fruit shall be replenished. You will hope again!