They say love is beautiful.
They say love can turn your world to a haven.
But in my case, I became a victim of love.
The first man I really loved was the first man who almost drove me mad and sent me to an early grave.
My story, may not be too different from that of many women who got married for very good reasons but later regretted taking that decision in their life.
Two days to the birthday of my daughter, I found myself infront of her wardrobe.
This wasn’t the first time though. As a mother who wants to know everything going on in the lives of her children, I steal a moment or two from time to time to go through their things in their absence so I could know if there was something they were hiding.
For me, this has worked time and time again. For instance I got to know there was a boy in Kayla’s class who liked her and she liked him too. Lol… But they were both shy….
Knowing what goes on in their closet gives me the upper hand on how to groom them and what to discuss with them without giving them the faintest idea to suspect, and so far I have given them no reason to. It also helps me to develop a good relationship with them.
Kayla and Paa Kwasi had stepped out to go and play with their friends in the neighbourhood and that was my finest moment.
By the way, Kayla is 14 years old and Paa Kwasi is 9 years old.
I entered Kayla’s room, and went straight to her wardrobe. My eyes fell on an envelope.Fortunately for me, it wasn’t sealed.
My curiosity and impatience almost made me knock down some clothing. I opened the sheet of paper inside the enveloppe, and it read:
“Dear God, I need a daddy…
I am always sad when I see my friends daddies come and drop them at school and also attend PTA meetings. Why don’t I have a daddy?
Lord, mummy looks so happy when Uncle Pee comes around.
Lord make uncle Pee marry mummy. Why hasn’t he married her? You know Paa Kwasi and I love him too and we know he loves us too. Lord I am waiting for your response”
My God!!!!! My heart broke. I sat down on the floor and wailed. “Oh God, why? What wrong has my daughter done to go through this misery at her young age… ”
I was inconsolable. ..
I returned the letter to where it was inside the wardrobe. I went straight to my bedroom, locked the door and shut myself from the rest of the world so I could nurse my woes…
A single mother of two children, single handedly raising them.. with no support from their father, whose only gift to them was his surname.
How do I survive in this economy alone???
I met Kwame in my mid 20’s. I had at the time finished my S.S.S a few years back and was working as a secretary in a company. I was so full of life and had so many beautiful dreams, but Kwame shattered them.
He was the nicest guy in my world at the time. He was the one who held my hand to church and encouraged me to be grounded in my faith.
We were crazy in love and inseparable, no wonder he was so enthusiastic to make me his wife. All his friends knew me because he boasted about me to them. I was celebrated as a queen by his family members. Tell me, was I at fault to follow my heart and say yes to Kwame?
Our wedding was the talk of the town. Not because of its flamboyance but because it was a beautiful display of love.
My friends wished they were me, and everyone told me how blessed I was to be found by a man who kissed the very ground I walked on.
What could I say? It was just by the grace of God.
Everyone had the shock of their lives when eight years down the line the marriage came to an end.
The question every one asked was, but what happened?
Infact that is the toughest question I have had to answer my whole life, even to date.
People meet you and then when they get to know you have children the next question they ask is “are you married”?
Your answer would result in two reactions; either pity or avoidance.
Some people just avoid you and judge you even before bothering to find out why you have two children and not married.
Or you meet a fine guy, you are sure there is a connection…. The moment he gets to know you have kids he silently walks out of your life without telling you why. The bravest ones tell you to the face that they cannot date a “born two”.
So who should marry “born ones” and “born twos”?.
At other times, you meet someone who accepts you the way you are but you bring him home and your children don’t like him and are hostile towards him. You have to choose between your kids or your lover. I always would choose my kids.
Intrestingly, sometimes too you meet someone who thinks he can take advantage of you because you are desperate for a husband.
All he wants is to sleep with you and later dump you.
I’ve seen it all…
And so for nine years I have been a single mother. With no support, either financial or emotional from the man whose children I carried for nine months apart….
Lately I even decided to change their surname to my father’s name because ever since we divorced, I have not received a single cedi from him for the children’s upkeep. Kayla and Paa Kwasi have even lost sight of how he looks like; because he has never visited them.
Whether he is doing this as a punishment to me or not, only God knows.
As for me, I handed over the case to God long ago.
The future will teach all of us a lesson. Whether he did the right thing or not.
I love my children and not even their irresponsible father can change that.
“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.”
Psalm 27:10 (NLT )
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