Social media has been buzzing since news broke that the wife of late Ejisu MP, John Kumah, has tied the knot barely 21 months after the sad demise of the politician. Questions have been raised about the duration before her remarriage. The picture has been painted of a woman who hopped to the next available man right after her husband breathed his last. I’ve read comments from social media users suggesting with confidence that Lilian Owusu was cheating on her late husband and that his demise facilitated her quick settlement into another man’s heart, as if she couldn’t wait to fall into the arms of the man. I couldn’t help but wonder if the many reactions I have read are genuine outrage at this woman in defence of the memory of her late husband, or a hidden misogyny that slithers its way through issues and lurks in the shadows like an unwanted visitor.
John Kumah died on 7th March 2024 in Accra after a short illness. He was 45 years old and described by many as a rising star within the New Patriotic Party, under whose ticket he was serving as MP for Ejisu when the unfortunate incident happened. Then Mrs. Lilian Kumah was physically distraught during her late husband’s funeral, as is expected of anyone who has lost a loved one. The fact that pictures from her mournful demeanour have resurfaced, as if to compete with pictures from her marriage, beats me. Two pictures from two different seasons of her life used side-by-side to dilute her happiness today, in an attempt to cover her in a garment she has eschewed. But what if people’s outrage and disgust at her marriage within this period are based on an attempt to respect the memory of John Kumah? What if it is due to good intentions? Has Lilian shed the widow garment a bit too early?
In Ghana, many cultures embrace the rule of a one-year mourning period for widows. Some tribes demand that women wear black attire for the 12-month period to announce that they are mourning the demise of their late husbands. Lilian has completed her mandatory widowhood rites and procedures, as it has almost been two years since tragedy hit her home. Is she then supposed to stay battered, emaciated, and drowning under the overwhelming weight of sorrow? Are widowers who lose their wives and remarry relatively fast subjected to the same lens of scrutiny as netizens are meting out to Lilian? Lawyer Maurice Ampaw, one of Ghana’s popular legal practitioners known for his strong opinions, remarried a year after the demise of his wife, and the world didn’t stand still. He wasn’t in news trends; social media users did not pause to analyse and dissect his personal life and decisions. In fact, the few comments were encouraging and understanding.
Are we then seeing misogyny being displayed in broad daylight? Is it using Lilian Owusu as another scapegoat to herald its agenda that women should submit to the invisible dictates of a patriarchal society that expects her to remain John Kumah’s widow and glue that identity on her chest like it’s a shameful badge of honour? Is misogyny screaming that Lilian cannot make her own decisions, that she can’t decide to remarry or remain single as a free woman who has a life to live after grief? Is Lilian a target of prejudice against women, the contempt that uses shame and accusation to keep women in check, only dancing when it is in tune with the beats of subservience and societal expectations? Has Lilian committed a crime that is punishable simply because she is obviously attracted to good-looking, dark-skinned men and has chosen to move on, find love again, and bask in its blissful adventures? Will a man face the same backlash for a similar “abomination”?
WRITTEN BY NII KWEIKUMA AMOO
